Welcome(?) Back

Wow, hi folks!

It's so weird coming back to all this. I don't even remember how it works....
Now, I am doing this because it will not stop snowing here in Longmont, CO and most of my classes today were cancelled, so I have nothing else to do at the moment (that's such a lie...always more to do). Also, I have been inspired by my wonderfully gifted and talented love of my life to post this today.

Anyway, I'm not sure how often I will continue posting up meaningless shit here, but I would guess pretty seldom. But I'm not saying this to drive you away (or further away, since most of you out there probably forgot I even exist, which is ok, I'll understand).

So, I just wanted to say that yes, I'm still here (way off in the distance tho), and I would like to still show you some of my cool(ish) photos and thangs (and thongs and fangs. Ooh, that got raunchy in a hurry. That's what happens when I start playing the rhyming game).

And now, without further ado, some photographs from yours truly:

These are my lovely dancer friends. And I must say, from all my experience, that dancers are the best models. They really know how to strut their stuff and do crazy shit with their bodies. I love it.

That's one fancy little flip.

Beauty.

I love this moment. This is as-is, no cropping or photoshopping.

Flying high.

BAM.

Workin' it.

Picture perfect.

They're lovin' this.

And there it is. I don't know why the quality is so grainy, I kinda forgot how to do all this photo posting business. It seriously just took me like 2 hours to figure it all out again...

Anyway, there are way more photos from this shoot, but I figured they could go up later in the future. I hope you enjoyed them.

Now before I leave you, I will give you the permission to ask me any one question you so desire, and I will absolutely give my answer. I figure it will make this a little more interesting.

Okey dokey artichokey.
It's good to be back :-)

~Love

Photo Series #4

Architecture + Portraits


This week while I was going through the rest of my photographs from the little Denver trip a few weeks ago, I noticed that a lot of them had very interesting architectural angles, lines, curves, symmetry, and whatnots that were in the background of, or surrounding, the person I was photographing, making the photos much more engaging. So, the ones I chose were the ones I felt had the most architectural feel to them, along with being good shots of the subject as well.

The list is kind of a big one this time (10 photos!), so just bear with me.


#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

#6

#7

#8

#9

#10

Whew! There it is. Let me know what you think!!

Until next time,
Peace

<3

Ever hear of 'stream of consciousness'?

Pain. Misery. Guilt. Betrayal. Lost.
Lonely, wanting needing, expressing one's self gone, sucked into the wretched void from whence it came, was produced. Something's gotta give, let go, venture to the outmost extremes. Screams. She screams and screams for rescue, safety, security. Nothing more. Nothing less. FUCK YOU. who? The demons inside one's head? who knows. Who knew? Why? Why must we go on like this What is this doing for us What is this teaching us What is this all about??? Where are we really going And why would you want to find out What this is all about Why we must know what to do When we need to do it to know How to know ourselves Who we really ought to strive to be For whatever reason You must decide where to end up next to Me when the paths cross At which we will determine how To live the rest of our lives In wonder in peace in sadness in happiness In ourselves our very own skin and Believe that That is you and this is me.
I want you to want me to
Want to be with this message
To speak when we must
Know what the fuck is going on with
What we have and what we want and what
You need to say and what I
Need to say in order to work through whatever
Because this is the time when
I decide what to sort out from what I
Love and what I want and all I know is that
You have needs too.

I don't know what this is all about. I watch you move across the room across the lawn across the road the road the road the path What path is there So many paths building into one long continuous tunnel of never ending light and never ending possibilities with no exceptions no answers just going, winding, switchbacks all through the rest of your life, no turning back, no re-dos or make-ups, just forward on and on and on and on.............nothing but light and dark, pain and joy, giving and receiving, that's all we are, takers and givers who don't think about anyone but themselves, we are all selfish, sure some more so than others, but who is to say? All you catty little sluts out there only care about yourself and your own mind and body, if that. You just take and take and take and think you're the queen of the whole mother fucking world, that everyone loves you, you are famous in your own shallow world, your pathetic puddle of an ocean or sea of deepness and meaning, you lack it all, you have none, you are just a pathetic little puddle. You are a thief and a whore, and you make so many think they like you, that you like them when you could care less. You are only ignorant. Stop trying to act like you have been friends since third grade!!! You bitch. Stop praising and talking so sweet in your manipulative ways and making up shit about yourself because many can see through it, the intelligent ones can see through it and say, I say, we don't want you here, you are not welcome, you have nothing inside you, you are not a good person, and you have no soul. I want you to stop. Just leave it alone, leave it be, and get the fuck out of here.

This piece of shit sorry ass excuse for new technology lasting the span of about a month! I was so terribly led astray by you telling me it was so durable and would last a long time, you tricked me, you son of a bitch, you lied to me and showed me the better parts the cool extensions and features just to turn around and spit in my face. You fell apart. You are worthless and I wish I never even laid eyes on you. I knew I should've just fixed the one that was mine before you. I wish I had endless piles of money stashed away in conspicuous corners that I could access whenever I please, I wish I could have gotten what I truly wanted, but instead I'm now stuck with you in my hand and my ear. You make me sick sometimes, so sick I just want to chuck you at the tallest most threatening brick wall I've ever seen and watch you die. And yet I can't, because I need you, I depend on you, you are my secondary sometimes primary source of communication and I loathe you for it. I want something new, something better, something different. Someday when that day finally arrives, I will be so relieved and happy to see you thrown in the dumpster.

Art is.........what the fuck is art? Art is so many things to so many people, art grows and diminishes, lives and dies, constantly changing like the planet earth. Ha! Everything changes. Evolution occurs in every single thing, living or dead, animate or inanimate. You can tell I'm not as passionate about this particular subject at this particular peculiar moment in time like I usually would be. I have so much fire in me right now. Intense flames rising, spewing, reaching the opening of the volcano, the crater, the mouth, vomiting words of disgust vile putrid horrid wretched frightening disturbing nonsense. Because really, it's all just a load of shit.
I just want to be. Leave me alone. Let me live my life and if you want to help me, go ahead, if not, then fine. This is ridiculous. I'm sick of so many things so many people telling me what to do and how to be and what to do about this and that and me and you and whatever the fuck you want. It's not about what you want, because this is my life. I get to choose where I go, and my path will lead me in the right direction, just like it has all my life. My decisions are my own and always will be. I will do what keeps me content.
That's it.
Empty
Vacant
Hollow
Finished
Done.

Photo Series #3

Hey y'all!

Sorry it's been awhile...again...and that I'm a little late in getting out the photos this week. First week of school is done! It went pretty well, not gonna lie. However, I can feel the evil stress creeping nearer and nearer already. What a creeper. I hate you, Stress. I don't need you this year.

It'll all be good though, I'm sure. Not too much in the way of homework and studying yet (thank God! I'm so over that shit).

Anyway, less talk, more art!

So without further ado...I give you...the third Série de Photo:


#1

#2

#3

#4

#5

And there you have it.

These photos are actually a couple of years old now, and the model is my photographer friend who I interned with (she's way cool).

Hope you enjoy them! Let me know what you think. What's your favorite?

<3

Back to School, or: I Have a Life Again(!)

I'm baaa-aaack!

I know, it has been quite some time since I wrote up a little somethin' somethin' for the ol' blog here. Mostly because I just started back to school Monday. Woop woop! (I also seem to be having a difficult time typing at the moment...even though you can't exactly tell). I have some pretty good classes this semester, and all seems to going swell. 

Dad...?.... What??

I have to tell you all though, I am already wiped out. Yes, almost all of my classes are in fact dance classes, but really, I must have been in worse shape than I thought. But I love it. It's so good to be dancing again. However, I do have a strong disliking of Boulder, Colorado in many ways and for many reasons. To name a few: the traffic, the people, the retarded lay-out of the town, the fact that there are really only two ways in and out of that zoo from the university, the overly-priced everything, the attitude, the hypocrisy, and once again, the people. The only really cool part is that it's smack-dab up against the Flatiron Mountains (which actually sucks a lot of the time too because of how it affects the weather), and the CU campus is really beautiful (way better than CSU).

The fact is, I am finally going to be busy again! I love having stuff to do. I have always been a very busy, always on-the-go type person (I was starting to get pretty stir-crazy this past month). My classes are all enjoyable, I have a clearer mind of what the hell I'm doing now, and I'm getting back into shape again (always a big plus, like this: +).  I'm also taking a painting class this semester, so if there's anything that turns out to be blog-post-worthy, you may be seeing some of that up here as well.

Ok, now we have to "talk".

The thing about this whole going back to school deal is the fact that I won't be nearly as blog-crazy as I was my first week(s) starting out, so I won't be writing as much or as often. I will still try to post my little photo series every weekend though, I know that's the highlight of my blog, really. In fact, I probably wouldn't have to write anything ever. But I do because I like to put my voice into the written form sometimes as well as let it out vocally (which also tends to happen a lot).

So, I just wanted to check in with y'all ("y'all?" you might say?...Remember, I lived in Texas for 7 years) so you know where I'm at, or "where I stand" on all this.

This guy stands pretty well.

So, my fellow blogging, reading friends, I leave you with that.

Until next time!

Peace :-)

Photo de la Semaine avec Photo Series #2

Ok, first of all, my little sewing project (yes, it's obvious now that I was at least sewing something) did not get finished as planned. Laaaaaaame. I know. I fail. But it's ok, and it's going to look super super cute when I'm all done with it, and I promise to still post photos of it when it's finally complete. Sorry if I let anyone down though. Sewing is HARD.

And now this is going to be a quickie of a post because I didn't expect everything all day to take so long...ugh, busy. I pretty much sewed and trimmed and ironed and all sorts of shit all day long until this evening when I went off to see Earth Wind and Fire (the band) downtown for the New West Fest (Fort Collins! Woo!). It. Was. Awesome. The crowd was unbelievably packed (gross). And all I could practically smell for 90 minutes was beer, sweat, and cigarettes (and of course the occasional whiff of reefer). But it was nice. My good friend Kelsey and I had a pretty fun time dancing (as best we could in such tight spaces). And we were pretty damn good at weaseling our way through the crowd to get closer and closer to the stage. I had the idea that it would be a fun challenge to see just how close we could get toward the end of the show.

This is the first time we thought we got close...

Here's where we ended up!

Pretty sick, right? We got almost right up to the stage! (These pictures were taken on Kelsey's iPhone, by the way). And here is me and Kelsey:

She came out blurry, but that's what you get when you have no third person I guess.

Anyway, it was a good time. We also got mac & cheese afterwards, and it was goooood.


So, it is now time for the moment you have all been waiting for....

I give you the Photo de la Semaine (as will be shown on In Review: Stuff and Things) along with a little mini series.

Enjoy :-)

There were many many many more from this day that I'm sure you'll get to see later on.

Until next time....

<3

I'll Give You a Hint...

Ok, so I'm back as I promised (even if it's a little late).

I want to thank everyone for the awesome encouragement and comments. It really means a lot :-D

I actually went downtown today to visit a dear friend who is a professional photographer and with whom I interned for a little bit (she's that one in the photo who's spinning with the pretty red dress on, which you can check out here). I asked her some questions about getting into the photography field and whatnot, and I feel much better and sure about some things now. Things are looking up already! Woot...!

So. The project. I know only two of you commented about it on my previous post (which is totally fine). Maybe the first hint was just way too vague and not much of a hint to most of you anyway. That is why I will give another hint that may be a little more obvious today (night).

And here we go, hint #2:

Try finding this in a haystack...

And there you have it. Guess away!

And now I will give you another poem because I feel that it would help tie these two recent posts together some...It's a little longer this time though.

Dear Inner Child,

I have missed you.

You brought me a present today.

So much of the forgotten joys and memories, forgotten feelings.

Remind me of the little things, like when floors turned into ceilings.

You came back for a reason.

You came to teach me a lesson I had never needed to learn before.

A lesson that was never once required,

because it already existed.

And I never tried to resist it,

but it existed so long ago.

Something brought it back.

YOU brought it back.

Unearthed from all the

heavy

dark

rotten

Unbreakable

It broke.

Broken by the joy, light, carefree, softness.

You took my hand.

I took my hand

and raised it high.

Reaching for the warmth, the glow.

You put the feeling back in my wings.

My wings put the feeling back in me.

I took flight.

You guided me as we traveled back,

Back until our two worlds slammed into one.

ONE

Body

Mind

Soul

Self

Body. This body. Only body, now. No body.

Mind. This mind. My mind. Nobody minds.

Soul. This soul. Through my body. From my mind to my soles.

Self. This self. Your self. My self. Selfless.

Oh, dear Inner Child,

You are a savior. My savior.

You have beckoned me when I was too deaf to your whispers,

you were too daft to not whisper.

But I will now be the one to beckon you,

dear Child.

I had fun today.


This I did not just write on the spur of the moment. I wrote it a couple of months ago in my Dance Improv class as a free-write. We never had to share them, it was just a little class time thingy I guess.


Alright, that's all I have for tonight, friends!


Tomorrow there will brand new photographs! Tune in :-)


Peace.


Pee.Ess. Has anyone else noticed weird things with the "preview" not looking exactly like it should when you're about to post a new post? It always seems to screw something up for me...Just sayin'.